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So, most of you will remember my 2013 series, AoE, which I am posting the episodes of.

I have now decided to rewrite some of it, so can you give me feedback?


EXT. BEACH - MIDDAY

         It is the edge of a large beach with hundreds of Pokemon         
         laying around on it. An EEVEE with a large mane of fluff         
         around his head like that of a lion was unconscious, which       
         isn’t normal for beaches like this. He starts to wake up and     
         opens his eyes before closing them again.                        
                                                                          
                             EEVEE                                        
                        (Sleepily)                                        
                   Five more minutes...                                   
                                                                          
         A large football is kicked straight at the Eevee and he          
         wakes up with a jolt.                                            
                                                                          
                             EEVEE                                        
                   Argh! Mom! Dad! I broke a bone!                        
                                                                          
         He notices the quiet atmosphere and looks around. A              
         VANILLISH floats up to him.                                     
                                                                          
                             VANILLISH                                    
                   Oh man. I am so sorry for waking                       
                   you up. Me and my friends were just                    
                   playing soccer and-                                    
                                                                          
                             EEVEE                                        
                   It’s fine. Wait a second... Soccer?                    
                                                                          
                             VANILLISH                                    
                   Yeah. Why?                                             
                                                                          
                             EEVEE                                        
                   I thought it was called Football.                      
                                                                          
                             VANILLISH                                    
                   Nah. You must be from overseas. It                     
                   kinda looked like you were washed                      
                   up, but that would be ridiculous                       
                   considering your physical health.                      
                                                                          
         The realization of what happened to the Eevee slowly kicked       
         in.                                                              
                                                                          
                             EEVEE                                        
                   MOM! DAD! Help!

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