So, most of you will remember my 2013 series, AoE, which I am posting the episodes of.
I have now decided to rewrite some of it, so can you give me feedback?
EXT. BEACH - MIDDAY
It is the edge of a large beach with hundreds of Pokemon laying around on it. An EEVEE with a large mane of fluff around his head like that of a lion was unconscious, which isn’t normal for beaches like this. He starts to wake up and opens his eyes before closing them again. EEVEE (Sleepily) Five more minutes... A large football is kicked straight at the Eevee and he wakes up with a jolt. EEVEE Argh! Mom! Dad! I broke a bone! He notices the quiet atmosphere and looks around. A VANILLISH floats up to him. VANILLISH Oh man. I am so sorry for waking you up. Me and my friends were just playing soccer and- EEVEE It’s fine. Wait a second... Soccer? VANILLISH Yeah. Why? EEVEE I thought it was called Football. VANILLISH Nah. You must be from overseas. It kinda looked like you were washed up, but that would be ridiculous considering your physical health. The realization of what happened to the Eevee slowly kicked in. EEVEE MOM! DAD! Help!